New Friends

Was back in Mumbai two weeks ago - my first trip where I really had to manage by myself, as Tania had to stay in the States for reasons I won't go into. Stayed at the elegant and old Taj Hotel near the Gateway - a stately and historic hotel with impeccable service and friendliness. Had a few hours to kill the day I had to catch my plane (leaving for the US, one typically departs around midnight or 1am, so you get the entire day to work and the evening and then go off to the airport), so I asked the concierge to recommend a short walking route near the hotel. Following his directions, I ventured out into the streets of Mumbai.

It is good to walk in this city. In the first place, driving around, while interesting, gets frustrating after awhile because you are stuck in traffic so much of the time. So you whip out your blackberry and do some email and when you finally arrive you realize you missed anything there was to see on the way anyway! Walking forces you to be more mindful of your surroundings - and in Mumbai, you'd best be especially mindful when you cross the street, as the traffic is insane and - if you are American - coming at you from a direction you do not expect!

Anyway, I am walking along, finding some shops and market areas of interest. I especially love the food market areas - mostly there are local people there, not too many foreigners looking for bargain souvenirs.

And then I suddenly feel the tug on my sleeve, and the insistent voice: "Please, ma'am. Please, ma'am." I look down and there is a young boy - I shake my head and continue walking. Then: "Please, ma'am. I don't want money." This is surprising, as normally that is exactly what he would want and in my experience if you give money you are suddenly surrounded by 100 children, all saying "Please, ma'am" and this becomes an immediately impossible and awkward situation. So I usually feel very guilty saying no, and when I get home I write a big check to some aid organization. That's how I deal with it - its always been more comfortable to be generous at a distance.

But this kid hooked me with his 'I don't want money' routine - and instinctively I turned and asked him: 'well, what do you want, then?'. So we got into a conversation - he is 10 years old, his name is Ganesh. He doesn't go to school, because he can't afford it. He asks my name and where I'm from. I tell him the Indian government will pay for him to go to school and he should be going. He does not want my money, but wants me to buy milk for his little sister who is 3 months old. We negotiate a deal: I get to take his picture a couple of times and he gets me to buy the milk. Here's the picture - after his 'photo shoot', I offer him money for the milk and he says, 'no - come with me to the store, its right over here'. So we go to the store together and I buy a can of powdered formula for a baby for about $5 US and then I tell him I'll give him the change if he promises to try to attend school. He agrees. As we part company, he offers me his hand to shake and thanks me and wishes me well.

I said later to Don that if there's some powdered milk scam going down on the streets of Mumbai, I don't want to know about it. I want to believe he'll find his way out of poverty and grow up to be a successful Indian entrepreneur - he has all the makings of it already, with a charming and persuasive personality and pretty decent negotiation skills. Maybe he'll remember the lady from New York who told him to go to school and maybe he won't. I know more likely he will never escape from his circumstances, so perhaps the best I can wish him is happiness and peace in his life. Meeting him was a great gift for me - a reminder that the smallest and weakest of us is still a human being, and while we may not feel comfortable dealing with the masses of children who are in need and in poverty, when you get down to it, each one of them has a name and a story and needs not only our money, but our friendship and respect. And will give that back if offered the opportunity.